170

merry christmas.
i'm fucked up like, yea.
but i've always been the oddball.
so its not so bad, afterall.
we all have a place.


[12/25/09 10:57:54 PM] Benjamin James Elliott: i didn't want to seem clingy
[12/25/09 10:58:10 PM] Benjamin James Elliott: but i'd have just stayed chained to your bed concubine
[12/25/09 10:58:12 PM] Breana Van Den Heuvel: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
<3

i can read your thoughts....

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/408697
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/512161

ya found enlightenment yet?

i'm visiting with my relatives for awhile.
please think i'm busy.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/441926

on the grid

its true, i'm being TRAC-ed.

my ID tags read
814 203 6360

pull on the electronic leash sometime.
give me a buzz.

mountaindew

Today, i rose from a deep slumber and clambered into the kitchen.
I spotted a bottle of purple flavor MD. Its lavender shade drew my eye.
Setting it on the table, my mother saw it and said "I want to try that!" excitedly.
I agreed. I made toast whilst she got a small glass out. Then, she drew a bottle
of vodka out, and mixed the two together. After she took a few sips, she said it was "OK".
At 9 o clock in the morning.
what the fuck?

"Why does a weaker person need to latch onto a stronger person?"
Jack asks.

Tyler responds
"Because you need me. I didn't make up some loser alter-ego so i could feel better about myself."

coloRADo

rocks
it was a great nine day trip
i would do it again,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUrmPYhu9Rc

Betsy

is my new (old) Firebird ('89).
I love it, even though its an old POS.
As much as I hate to sound like a greasemonkey,
work will be done until until I am satisfied.
I will take care of my car.

Empty.

all i wanted was to see her, again.

Watre Wonders

so during this thunderstorm, lightning struck my pond.
i went down there after the rain to see if anything was alive.
usually there are all kinds of frogs and fish and small life.
but it was dead quiet. the rain had washed the rowboat off the shore halfway.
so i lifted it up and this black fucking ferret lookin thing sticks its head out.
it panicked when it saw me, and half scurried half dove INTO THE WATER.
the only conclusion i came to is that there's now an Otter in my pond, living under the boat.

life this

is life this is life this is life this is life this is life

JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/463170
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/384664

JACKIE JACKIE JACKIE JACKIE JACKIE JACKIE
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/487393


JUNIOR JUNIOR JUNIOR JUNIOR JUNIOR JUNIOR
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/499425

superjail

is a great show.
it operates on a stream of consciousness.

hehee, gender differences

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well, here's a prime example offered by an English professor at an American University.

In-class Assignment for Wednesday "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and anything you wish to say must be written on the paper. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has beenreached."

The following was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca - last name deleted, and Gary - last name deleted.

STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
-------------------------------------
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
-------------------------------------
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth - when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
-------------------------------------
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles Above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through congress had left Earth a defenceless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top- secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We cannot allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
------------------------------------
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.
------------------------------------
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centred tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of FUCKING TEA??? Oh no I'm such a air headed bimbo who reads too many Mills & Boon novels."
------------------------------------
Asshole.
------------------------------------
Bitch.
------------------------------------
Wanker.
------------------------------------
Slut.
------------------------------------
Get fucked.
------------------------------------
Eat shit.
------------------------------------
FUCK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
------------------------------------
Go drink some tea - whore.

sometimes

i discover that some don't have a nice opinion of me,
or my family, or my friends.

the worst part about that is that judgement is always passed
based on circumstances.

its upsetting when you learn that its not about what you know
but about who you know.

life is a great big bucket of shit, being eaten by the oldest, nastiest,
and rotten can of worms.

its makes me feel alittle bit better, that those who mind dont matter
and those who matter don't mind.

pheremone

so tonight i decided to take a nap downstairs.
i got there, hopped on the bed, and it hit me.
that entrenching scent. its stunning.
the blanket that you slept with kept your smell.
even after all this time, it was as if you were there
only moments ago, but now lost in time and space.
i wish that i could be there with you.
i remember when we used to talk on the phone every night.
you're the one person who i'd choose if i could only talk to a single person.

so whilst walking and toking

i ran into my dad
offering him a hit,
he took it and relaxed while i finished the yardwork
he had been exerting himself with.
he couldn't hold it for more than 5 seconds,
which made me feel totally badass when he
hacked his brains out.
i didn't even waste the smoke that i had
from a rip taken before
on laughing at him.
it made me feel awesome.

i want you to relax

take a deep breath in,
and while you're holding your breath,
close your eyes and imagine me next to you.
smiling as i take the joint back from you [:

seventeen dreads

i've got them banded
and i'm going to make wearing a hat a constant effort.
so then i'll get big wooly benjo dreads.

spending time outside is awesome.

i want to do it for a living.


if you want to see something absolutely outrageous...



thats the hardcore shit that follows the president around.
you've seen those SUVS, the one that nobody gets in or out of...
if i it was up against a person. i don't think they'd be in a single piece long enough to go anywhere except down.
i never want to be on the wrong end of that gun.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VVOH7Ep_8w&feature=related

or this one.

*PS* if you listen to "where is my mind" by the pixies, and watch the first video starting it ten seconds into the song
its pretty trippy [: but make sure that the sound to the video is on mute, dummy! =P

excused-full day

fucking fucking fuck
sometimes life is shit.
but i enjoy getting back in touch with the side of me
that lived in trees long ago
and made tools and weapons from stone.
i like to get stone =P
http://j.photos.cx/stealfrombabies-c57.gif

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/80631024/

well

i've been not smoking (ciggies) for some time now
and i think i might just take up drinking instead.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/383561/

senior presentation

i've got mine tomorrow.
i'm not really prepared to do it, though
but thats alright because i don't really want to graduate anyway.

http://www.goodneighborstuff.com/shorts/420disaster.html

the pop up book of sex

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/80566122/

i'd like to get my hands on a copy of this.

happy evil bunny day/egg day/ candy day

the story
well we were in my room
i wanted to smoke all my shit in one go
i packed a huge bowl, and it was all just shake
so she and i were chilling out
sitting there listening to pepper and smoking
then right as i cashed it my mum knocks on the door
"ben?"
"yes?"
"are you smoking in your room?"
...
maaaaybeeeee....."
"please don't smoke"
"ok, i'm done"

Brookie hehehe

Benjo it was hilarious

death wish

well i just finished watching death sentence, and i've got to say it was really good
if you want to see a serious wasting of life, follow the link.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6651916009965516351

D00M

i've got this feeling of impending chaos.
or terror.
its unsettling beyond words can describe.
i'm not at all satisfied with where i am in life.
I wish that i could go back and start being belligerent at an early age,
that way it would be almost expected of me.
i want to kill myself.

when i grow up i want to live in the starwars universe

having a lightsaber would be so cool
and i wouldn't mind being able to play with blaster rifles




go get stoned.

have you ever been?

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/457428/
punched in the face?
in slow motion?
i'd like to be, for sure.

Luke Work

rocks pretty hardcour.
i saw him play at the show in the salon.
then a VERY drunk girl attacked me,
knocked me over a table, slapped my ass
and gave me a ticket to the circus.
"here ya go, blondie. give me a hug"

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/80579376/

======================================================


http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/219994/

1.40 no government

i'm sick, so i left work early yesterday and then stayed home from school today.
i thought it was an allergy at first, but its way too harsh to be one.
maybe THE MAN puts shitty chemicals in the air to make people really sick.



enjoy!

Cyberware is for chumps

Shadowrun is a pretty cool concept, i am looking forward to playing it.
its more "real-world-esqe" than D&D is. i its easier for me to get into.

today

i helped christa and sterling move, and it was pretty cool.
i didn't do a large amount of work, but they both insisted it was a huge favor
terra was being a chump and kept climbing up and down the stairs
then she had sick poop all over her mother.
kt and i spent the night at their house, it was the best night ever.

for one week only

KT will be in coudersport.
sadly enough, two of those days have passed :[
and even though i've got work she's still escorting me there
:] lucky me, i missed her so much. i wish i could be with her more often.
i managed to convivce my mummy to let her stay the night when she arrived.
if i had my way she'd be staying all week :P but my parents think she's a harlot >=\
but it doesn't matter, i still love her.

survival knifes and airsoft guns.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3s9ckXxMZNE&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1-NZWtTJYI&feature=related


this is what i do in my spare time.
in fact, i even do it when i'm supposed to be studying.
maybe i'l lbe a dropout and do this for a living?

135

in a box, by the way of fedex, i received a pair of vietnam jungle-proof boots....
they kick ass
i also purchased two knives and a survival shovel
transcendentalism is rockin.

i think i'll go build a bong. peace.

http://www.highbastard.com/PV.asp?pID=79&cat=Amusement

http://owensjoint.tripod.com/misc/10marijuanafacts.htm

weird science

man, physics is fucking cool


http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/80544077/

GROOOOOW

for self actualization, i need to allow myself to grow more


UPDATE i feel just like a little kid again
the world is fun and interesting :D

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/youarea.htm
for hours of entertainment.

photosho

130

that reminds me of a joke.

imagine this in your best british accent.

sherlock holmes and watson went out on a camping trip.
they set up in a nice opening in the wood, built a fire and had a meal.
after they had finished a bottle of wine they set down for the night.

in the middle of the night, holmes woke watson.
"watson, open your eyes. what do you see when you look up?"

watson opened his eyes to see the stars, and said
"it looks like the regular night sky.
astrologically, leo is in saturn.
meteorologically, i can tell you that tomorrow will be a sunny day with a light breeze.
by the position of the moon, i can tell you that it is roughly 2:15"

holmes pondered this all for a second and then replied
"watson, you tit. someone has stolen our tent!"

DJ skriv

this shit is trippy as hell
i watched it and then just listened to it
it almost killed me
dying of laughter...

new post, no school

so there's no classes today AGAIN.
thats like the thirteenth time this week or some shit.
whats really strange is the night before i always say to myself
"it doesn't look like there's going to be skoo if this keeps up."

weird

someone has been spreading the rumor about me that i am a good writer.
was it you?