Saturday, December 27, 2008

christmas seems

like it happens over the course of several days.
but actually the whole circus takes place in 24 hours or less.
its just that everything is so hectic and so many things are out of place that it seems divided up.
its chronological timing shattered like a glass tube, the broken pieces are scattered apart like a floor puzzle.
nothing is at all related, the end somehow had no connection to the start.

or maybe its just that the whole family is a gang of stoners.


Saturday, December 6, 2008


i went to olean today
i got some classy digs with my mom, and then she went to get papers at the underground
i asked the chick there if she had salvia and she said
"we will in february, if its not illegal by then"
so we stopped by the three faces and i got some 17x
now i'm going to change my cosmic perspective with it :)
lets hope i don't go bonkers or anything

Monday, November 24, 2008

like brothers

both kenny and brandon have fallen off the lewis/spring' roof
dumb irish mic-mac-muhfuckas
ain't nobady don't know yins make poor chimney sweepz :P

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

dream on the lake

i had a dream that i was swimming in lake Michigan
this is the first part

i sped through the water,cutting through the waves like a razor. Suddenly i found myself outside my body! As i looked down at my body, i saw it was still swimming steadly through the waves. I dropped my attention to my flesh body because i became more concerned with a strange light sneaking up behind me. The blinding shine always would dance around behind by back to where i could not see it. No matter how quickly i turned it would always be behind me.

Finally, i turned my whole body round to see the intense brightness, what looked to be a shining portal. Emerging from the door came a large group. It was all my friends, they had come to greet me. "Did you have a pleasant slumber?" asked one friend. Everyone burst into laughter, and i too laughed at my freinds jests. It felt good to laugh so freely, my soul being shared with all of theirs.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

i imagined a gnome

named celinmark
he was born with the help of an online character generator
i will definately have to tweak this

Male Gnome Cleric 1
Chaotic Good
Representing benjo

Strength 10 (+0)
Dexterity 14 (+2)
Constitution 17 (+3)
Intelligence 12 (+1)
Wisdom 17 (+3)
Charisma 15 (+2)
Size: Small
Height: 3' 7"
Weight: 45 lb
Skin: Yellow
Eyes: Gray
Hair: Red; Straight; Light Beard
Domains: Animal Trickery

Energy: Positive [Healing / Turns Undead]

Total Hit Points: 11

Speed: 20 feet

Armor Class: 17 = 10 +3 [studded] +1 [buckler] +2 [dexterity] +1 [small]

Touch AC: 13
Flat-footed: 15
Initiative modifier: +2 = +2 [dexterity]
Fortitude save: +5 = 2 [base] +3 [constitution]
Reflex save: +2 = 0 [base] +2 [dexterity]
Will save: +5 = 2 [base] +3 [wisdom]
Attack (handheld): +1 = 0 [base] +1 [small]
Attack (unarmed): +1 = 0 [base] +1 [small]
Attack (missile): +3 = 0 [base] +2 [dexterity] +1 [small]
Grapple check: -4 = 0 [base] -4 [small]
Light load:
Medium load:
Heavy load:
Lift over head:
Lift off ground:
Push or drag:
25 lb. or less
26-50 lb.
50-75 lb.
75 lb.
150 lb.
375 lb.
Languages: Abyssal Common Gnome
Dagger [1d3, crit 19-20/x2, range inc 10 ft., 1/2 lb., light, piercing]

Studded armor [light; +3 AC; max dex +5; check penalty -1; 10 lb.]

Buckler [+1 AC; check penalty -1; hardness 10; hp 5; 2.5 lb.]


Combat Casting

Skill Name
Appraise Int 1 =
Balance Dex* 2 =
Bluff Cha 3 =
Climb Str* 0 =
Concentration Con 4 =
Craft_1 Int 1 =
Craft_2 Int 1 =
Craft_3 Int 1 =
Diplomacy Cha 3 =
Disguise Cha 2 =
Escape Artist Dex* 2 =
Forgery Int 1 =
Gather Information Cha 2 =
Heal Wis 4 =
Hide Dex* 7 =
+1 +4 [small]
Intimidate Cha 2 =
Jump Str* -6 =
-6 [speed 20]
Knowledge (arcana) Int 2 =
Knowledge (history) Int 2 =
Knowledge (nature) Int 3 =
Knowledge (religion) Int 2 =
Knowledge (planes) Int 2 =
Listen Wis 5 =
+2 [gnome]
Move Silently Dex* 2 =
Perform_1 Cha 2 =
Perform_2 Cha 2 =
Perform_3 Cha 2 =
Perform_4 Cha 2 =
Perform_5 Cha 2 =
Profession Wis 4 =
Ride Dex 2 =
Search Int 1 =
Sense Motive Wis 3 =
Spot Wis 3 =
Survival Wis 3 =
Swim Str** 0 =
Use Rope Dex 2 =
* = check penalty for wearing armor

Zero-level Cleric spells: 3 per day

First-level Cleric spells: 2 (1+1) per day +1 from a domain:


+2 constitution / -2 strength (already included)

Small (combat bonuses, +4 to hide already included)

Low-light vision

+2 racial bonus on saves vs. illusions

+1 on DC of opponent's save vs. gnomish illusions

+1 racial bonus to hit kobolds and goblinoids

+4 dodge bonus on AC against giants

+2 bonus on listen checks (already included)

Speak with burrowing animals once per day

1/day dancing lights, ghost sound, prestidigitation

Alignment Aura

Spontaneous Casting (heal)

Turn Undead (5x/day)

High wisdom gains bonus spells daily

Domain choices give additional abilities

Monday, November 17, 2008

this story is awesome, i like it loads.
my sister did it, and its really good.
you should read it, because i told you.
it reminds me of a dream i once knew.

what's more grand is my sister wrote it too :D

Saturday, November 8, 2008

i woke up

with a smile
not sure why i did
but i like it :]

you watch please

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

teh 4rd


barack wins, we rock!
yins americans haven't let me down yet!!

maybe something good will happen after all

Sunday, November 2, 2008

skunk #1

my seeds have hatched into little seedlings
there was a rather large one who was already large enough to be planted
the alpha seed, ace was awarded a cup and dirt Create custom animated gifs at!

here it is, the largest seed in the flock
(they all have tan shells)

ace the alpha seed

looks like a swimmer charging to home base


or a spaceship falling to earth

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

keep it frosty

first snow of the season
i feel like blingin

work i do is the dollar i make
like the space i create
by the treasures i take


walk an endless journey and never take a step
the world moving around me is what i most regret

Saturday, October 18, 2008

checkin in wit me

edgar is smart
i like oovoo, anybody with internet and a webcam should get it
i like making vlogs too

Sunday, October 12, 2008

crazy nights

i had a dream about you
i dont remember whether or not it was good or bad
but you were in it and thats whats important

i still feel sad when i look at pictures of my childhood

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

bring back the funk

old greg has inspired me

imma bring back the funk!
type in DVORAK
be funky
be funkier
skate funky

funk on!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

free write

once the timeflow begins it is impossible to cease
the movement of the ongoing chain of events
set into motion like an avalanche
building on itself greater than before
a powerful force resides in everything
from greatest mountain to smallest pebble
infinite potential
as the meager acorn becomes mighty oak
infinite possibilities
dense leaves that create the forest ceiling
also provide thick carpet in autumn

Sunday, September 21, 2008


arrr! i be the limeyiest of all the landlocked seadogs
me and me crews are gonna keep things the way they should be
high as a kite, me is!
and me stoned pirate ass is gonna keep getting stoned at all costs!!
living the good life
typing dvorak
(could a kind soul help me get dvorak??)
strong winds to ye

Friday, September 12, 2008

I-Doser lucid dream

i had a dream so vivid i can remember it like it was a more actual reality
the hadron collider was set of, and the affected radius was 26-29 miles
in that area, magic fountans burst forth from every once dry spring
the team conspired to build a bigger collider to affect a larger radius
because this zone was a part of the nueshpere
that being an atmosphere of higher concentration of theta waves
causing increased magical activity
creating a magnificent reality of wonder
this was set to go off in the year 2012
that is the time when mass magic would happen
powers in every single variety, for every single cause
enough to change the world we live in

i think i saw the future

Thursday, September 11, 2008


sometimes, after i finish a project in photoshop, i find myself with free time

Thursday, September 4, 2008

freestyle typing

here it goes
the rhymes that flows
words that move and groove like smoke billows

here i come
back up from underneath
you talkin about honor
but i rap through my teeth
you can't beat that
guerilla tactics
soldiers slowed to a crawl by their backpacks

you know me
i beat your highscore title
rub your name away and worship your false idol
undefeatable seepin through the floorboards
watch me go as i dominate the scoreboard

put a helmet on your skull
to protect your brain from headshots
but your knees are feeble,
collapse on the floor, lose your feet
can't destroy me cuz i rhyme to the same beat

speedy stealthy poor not wealthy
i got agility ability and subtle virility
what now,
think you got shell shocked
you shoulda known i'd be the one on top
a coup de grace
can't beat this barrage
of tight wordplay
better respect it because thats your only mercy

from me to you, this is how i do
i play the game and i'll always beat you

Friday, August 29, 2008

it is my understanding

that mister charles manson
will next be allowed parol

in the year 2012.....

and it seems like every single day i'm hearing a new word on the news
historic this and historic that
perhaps this is the age of lore?

the divine fool,
nothing is sacred to you
your mind is unfettered and you are completely free

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Poppies <3

sleep on vicodin is the best sleep i have ever had.
its even better than stoned sleep and waking up stoned.
everything is softer and seems more deep and intricate.
i think i'm developing an addiction to this shit
and i can see now how people dedicate their lives to heroin.

Monday, August 18, 2008

vicodin cannot

stop the pain caused by retainers
i may need to increase my dosage...

Thursday, August 14, 2008

my sister is a fiend

its my birthday!! :D
today i get to have a big party with all my friends!!
life is sweet

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Olympic Games

so i went to ster and christa's last night and sat down on their couch.
ster woke up and came down stairs and we chatted for a time, then he turned on the Olympics
it was a ten minute speech that shocked, horrified, and awed all at the same time.
that had to be the most incredible prelude ever, and nothing could ever get better than that
nothing could even TOUCH that shit, so i decided to leave while the awesome meter was maxed.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

shrooms are awesome

i've been across the universe. the whole of entirety was my own as we were one. my life has changed and i see clearly now more than i ever have. i love it, the world looks beautiful.

Friday, August 1, 2008


i will do this

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

and i looked at myself and said "no, fuck YOU"

did you ever feel empty?
so hollow that everything seems like its only half-experienced.
and no matter what you do nothing seems to fill the void inside you.
like a vital part of your soul is lost, never to be found
dropped between the slats of a sewer grate and washed away into some otherworldly oblivion.

well its like that.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

New World Order

An earthquake ravaged downtown LA earlier today.
Reverb was felt in places as far away as Las Vegas.
Soon enough, California is gonna fall into the fucking ocean.

Friday, July 25, 2008

if it exists, there is...

you seriously can find ANYTHING on the internet. Transvestite pantyhoes smoking fetishes, you betcha. The world is so full of sick motherfuckers. i've been grounded for a week because my mother caught me drinking and she flips a shit over everything.
i can shorten my sentence to a few days, i'm sure.

peas out, taters and carrots.

Monday, July 14, 2008

people like me

belong in an asylum...
i think i'm starting to turn.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

i got a work

even if i get fired in a week i'll still make some cash
working on concrete

oh, it'd be 50 rupees a kellog, sterling.
this one's fer you.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

spoon bending

a combination of powers physical and magical

Saturday, June 21, 2008


lets just pretend it was fifteen minutes ago because yesterday is official GO SKATEBOARDING DAY
though i did hit the streets, it was all just people asking me to "do a kickflip" and "show me a trick" all day
but on my ride home i realized how much i love riding my bike, which i plan on doing regularly to get someplace

i enjoy the independence

Monday, June 16, 2008

i forgot how much i love thunderstorms

"if society is a vein, then i'm the fucking infection"
"well if society is apathy, then i am a reason to give a shit"

two different views for the same idea.
life is about balance.

Monday, June 9, 2008


so i did the i-doser a-bomb, and it was epic

in short, i expierinced what it would be like to die and it goes like this.

my soul was stuck inside my dead body for a few days until they buried me,
then i (my spirit) woke up inside the coffin and came out
and it found brooke (who i died holding)
and we held eachother and stepped into this door of light.

shit was epic.

Sunday, June 8, 2008


this is the last time i fuck with my space for a long time.
in other news, i went to some pretty crazy parties this weekend.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

schools out forever

its been blown to pieces.

i'll still hafta go to summerschool, though.
and i guess my mom wants me to get a job at costas.

what the fuck?

Wednesday, June 4, 2008


when you do i-doser ganja, everything is the same as if you were actually high.
i can't think straight, i'm making simple mistakes that everytime i make i say
"bitch, you fuckin blitzed"
the only strange part about this feeling is that i'm NOT high.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008


have you ever heard of i-doser?

i found some on limewire today.
first i tried it with acid and alchohol
then i got high and i tried the viagra one,
to this moment i still have a raging hardon.

Monday, May 26, 2008

like a monkey...

ready to be shot into space.
ken got a super buzzcut, today. i gave it to him.

did you ever feel like that everytime you think about someone far away they are actually thinking about you, too? and whatever emotion you have when you think of them is the emotion that they are feeling about you?

maybe i'm just full of shit, but either way i feel like punching someone in the face because of all the shit i have to deal with right now.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

DOMO-KUN beanie

i got a glass piece. i named it circus. it is a boss little toking device. I was sick for the past week and because of it i didn't do a single problem in geometry. its not really a major deal to me anyways; i don't like give a fuck what the acorn said when it was all grown up.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

shoot me

i'm spewing from both ends. i do not know what has made me sick. i want to die.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

spirtual achievement intervals

my room is seperated into work game and art,
reflected in the overflowing time charts.

i operate in reverse clockwise
started by work, played by game and died when art died

i realize how good it is to be original. i want to do everything i do the way i do it. its amazing that winning an award makes me think that i should feel good about what i do.
oh, and christa/sterling, i hope you're cool with the little trip i made to your house.

... and the [exponential] interval is based by the diagram of a ruler. smaller ones are more fruequent, scant are the larger more important ones.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

scabies parasite

My name is Lee, i suffered my first schizophrenic episode when i was seventeen. i was eating at the dinner table and my mother put a spoonful of peas on my plate. i was convinced they were poisoned and my mother was trying to kill me. i pushed her out of her chair and stabbed her three times with a steak knife. i felt a lot better after i had stabbed my mom, but she did not. she had to go to the ER for head trauma and massive blood loss. when she recovered she sent me to a doctor for evaluation. the doctors name was mike robin, and he had a grey mustache. he diagnosed me with paranoid schizophrenia. doctor robin gave me a prescription for medication. i threw away the paper and did not get the pills. when my parents asked me if i had gotten the medication i told them i did not. they were very angry at what i had done. i thought that it was because the medication was actually cyanide and that they wanted to kill me because i was crazy. i hit my father across the head with a vase and punched my mother in the face. then i ran away to a hiding place in the park. i was apprehended by the police and sent back home. my father was very angry and my mother was crying. they sent me to a psychiatric hospital. when i was in the hospital i met a boy named ralph. ralph was very excited and energetic. he had been sent there the same day also. ralph was very defiant. whenever the nurse tried to give him medication he threw the paper cup back at her. he also screamed nonstop until the orderlies gave him morphine. he and i talked alot. he told me about how nice it was back at his house and how he could do whatever he wanted. one night some of he friends broke in and got him out. they also helped me escape too. they took me back to ralph's house. ralph showed me the equipment in his basement. this was used for making crystal meth. he gave me some crystal meth and i began using it normally. i enjoyed the energy it gave me. it made me feel like i could live forever and not need to eat or drink. a few months later, ralph's house burned down. his meth lab in the basement caught on fire. after that we had to live on the streets. we stole from stores or robbed people to get meth. on my 19th birhtday i was shot and killed by a police officer. he was responding to the 911 call made my a little girl in a house i was robbing. He hit me two times in the chest. before i died i thought about how much my parents cared about me and how much i missed them. i thought about how sorry i was for doing meth and getting myself into this situation. i thought about what i would do if i could go back and live my life differently. sometimes its too late.

Monday, April 28, 2008

sundress in the rain

i am not a toilet, so i will just stop taking shit from everyone. they say i am a genius, they should know that i have sense enough to govern myself. if you can't change someone's ways when they're 8 years old, you certainly can't break the ideals and beliefs of a sixteen year old by reprimand. its just a waste of everyone's time, which is dreadful because there are bigger problems to worry about.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008


so my mother was trying to make small talk in the car today after i finished the work for my grandmother that i was under the influence i was being paid to do. she asked if i still talk to "kate" the girl who "moved to middletown or somewhere down there". i replied the standard "yes" as i do to most questions she asks. in all reality she hasn't talked to me in over a year, doesn't plan on talking to me for twice as long, and would rather not talk to me for an eternity. its depressing when i think about how going to canada and growing weed was a life plan. thats possibly the only promising career i ever may have had.

....and you people thought apathy fell from the goddamn sky.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Snack Hat

My dad is cool, he understands things. he also understands that i understand things, too. even though we do not believe in the same things, we still accept one another. i feel i shall create my own reality now.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

irish storyteller

there was once a man whom had no luck
everytime he shaved, he would cut himself badly
everytime he went to get in the bathtub, the phone would ring
and by the time he had gotten out to get the phone, the other person had hung up
so one day he said to himself "i shall go find god, and ask him why my luck is so bad, and what i should do about it"
so he started walking
and he walked and walked and walked
then sat down and got a drink from a well
and he heard a moaning sound from behind him
so he looked over to find a wolf. the wolf asked the man "where are you going?"
the man replied "i am going to find god, to ask him why my luck is so bad and how i can fix it"
the wolf said "oh, if you could ask him for my why my stomach hurts and what i could do about it, then tell me, i will be very greatful"
so the man said "very well" and continued along his way, and walked and walked and walked
he then reached an old apple tree and picked a few apples to eat
then he heard a moaning agian, but looked behind him to find noone.
once mor he heard the moaning and he looked up at the tree and the tree was moaning
the tree asked him "where are you going?"
the man said "i am going to ask god why my luck is so bad, and what i can do to fix it"
and the tree said "oh, could you ask him why my roots hurt, and what i could do to fix it?"
the man said "yes, i will do that for you" and continued on his way
then he stopped at a cabin and heard a wailing from inside
he knocked on the door and the most beautiful girl he had ever seen opened the door. she asked him where he was going and he said "i am going to find god and ask him why my luck is so bad and how to fix it"
the young woman told him "if you do find god, could you ask him why i am sad and cry so very often?" the man told her he would do that and off he went
the man walked and walked and walked
into the wilderness, through coudersport pensylvania and a few miles past that to the end of the earth
and he called out "GOD?! ARE YOU THERE??"
and god replied "what do you want?"
and the man asked why he had such terrible luck and god told him
"you do not have terrible luck, you just need to find your grand luck"
he also asked the questions for the tree the woman and the wolf and got all their answers
so he began walking back and made his way to the cabin with the young misstress
and he told her "god said that you are sad all the time because you are lonely, and that you should marry"
the woman said "ah, well i have seldom met a man living here in coudersport and all, and i find you very handsome. i have enough money for us both to live nicely off of. would you marry me?"
and the man told her "oh no, i have to go out and find my good luck"
so he went off back to the tree, and the tree asked if he had found god, and he said yes, and told the tree
"the reason your roots hurt is because you were planted on top of a great treasure, and you should remove it so that you can grow further'
and the tree asked him "would you like to dig the treasure out for me? i have no hands, and if you did you could keep it for yourself, because i have no use for money"
and the man said "certainly not, i have to go out and find my good luck" and he left the tree behind to continue his journey
finally he reached the well, and talked to the wolf "god said the reason your stomach hurts is because you are hungry. and that you should eat the next fool you come across"
and with that the wolf gobbled the man up,
the end

Saturday, April 12, 2008

i think i will become a hermit

i cannot trust or rely on anybody but myself. then there are people that just being around them bums me out. they are dissatisfied with their lives and they seem to bring you down with them. So you go to the people you normally seek solace in every night, and they tell you to fuck off, also "you are doing ecstasy. is it wrong to be concerned with your wellbeing?" Its not that i tell them not to, its that they seem to think that my feelings are important. Sometimes i wish the people i really gave a shit about would give it back.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008


i remember when i was a young lad and my parents would take the whole family to the lake.
and we would spend a week out there for my birthday.
i remember how they would get me a cake and a tshirt that had the same cartoon character on it as the cake.
then my pop pop would take me out on the dock with him.
and we would fish for sunpike or whatever the hell.
the ones that i managed to get off my hook would go in a bucket and i would stare at them until the sun went down and we threw them back into the murky waters that we got them from.
it reminds me of when everyone was happy and nobody ever had any problems.
i miss being a child.

so few people actually make me happy, and even less are the ones that i can spend time with whenever i wish.
i want to be a little kid again.

Monday, March 31, 2008

i think its lint

i finally tuned my guitar up right, and now my fingers are throbbing from playing so hard. i wish i had started making music sooner. who wants to start a band?

Sunday, March 30, 2008

The Simpsons

If you want to go on the shortest sunday drive ever, speed on the last day of the month through a well renown speedtrap. Thankfully i don't owe anybody anything, but poor Amber has to pay $138 in ten days. I don't think i am going to bother much with cars, public transportation is much cheaper. and walking is free!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008


i got one. my own computer more or less is what i wanted. now i have all the ziggens songs a young lad could ask for. and internet acess whenever my little heart desires :D

"apple is the enemy...."

Saturday, March 22, 2008

night life

i swear, sometimes i think that there is shit going on with me when i "sleep". Sometimes i wake up in the morn feeling ill-rested, and more and more often, i find that i have stray cuts and damagaes. Its really disturbing to think that something is going on with me and i don't remember a lick of it. Like i am waking up at night to go fight in the basement of a bar or something.

(on an interestingly similar side-note, some lady stayed at my old house before the fire and i don't remember a goddamn thing about any of it.)

Saturday, March 15, 2008

another speck of cereal

when you are used to smoking weed everyday, sobriety is a trip...
I look at something and i think to myself if thats the way it always appeared to me. But if you have ever had hashbrownies (you should try them) you know that you acheive this great deep high. and then you start to wiggle your fingers real fast because you think that if you don't then the world will stop. But then you realize how high you are and you just stop being stupid and try not to be too loud because if you make too much noise then the guard robots will come and take your stash....

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

fucking your boss for extra pay

My parents are upset with the way that I conduct myself. They should simply learn that I enjoy having fun. The way that they act isn't great behaviour, but I still accept them for who they are. But what would be the best is if they let me get out of the house. This household blows giant ape dong. Its not a nurturing environment in the least...

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

free day off

do you know how goddamn boring snowdays are when you're grounded?? the answer, is very.

The Most Spoiled Girl In The World? She`s going to make some guy very happy one day. On a side note, I predict her to go through four marriages before 30.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

I wanna live in Los Angeles

Because I want to skate like a madman. The rule is if its divisible by four, but not one hundred. I plan on having fun and/or smoking weed. What are you going to do with that extra day this year?

Tuesday, February 26, 2008


its snowing like a bitch outside. maybe they'll kick us out of here. if they do, i'll be real upset because, SCHOOL ROOLS!!! Oh, and christa, kenny and i both agree that that is not beauty.... but particularly amusing.

Thursday, February 21, 2008


I wish I had that power "kill all enemies on screen" Then I could just blow everything around me that I hate to smithereens. But my mother seems insistant on keeping me from everything that I love. Perhaps she doesn't want me to get hurt, or maybe she just doesn't want me to be happy. But the logical response would be that she wants things for me that I don't, and she takes away the things that I enjoy so maybe my desires will shift to what she wants for me.

Monday, February 18, 2008


YOU COULD'VE KILLED HIM INSTEAD OF HEALING YOURSELF!!! NOW I'M DEAD AND YOU'RE DEAD AND WE HAVE TO START ALL FUCKING OVER AGAIN!!!! you know the last time we saved?? when we started the game!! son of a bitch AI....

SO somebody told me that i should dye my hair....
I really don't know either way....
My peice broke, I need a new one.
Oh, and I play on some truancy this spring with some buddies, any tips on that??

Saturday, February 16, 2008

chewing on plastic

KC "do you believe in God or Jesus or anything?"

Benjo "NO"

KC "oh. Lemme read you a scripture"

*reads scripture*

Benjo "yeah, fascinating"

KC "Basically its saying I can't be freinds with you anymore"

Benjo "i see.."

KC "so i guess i'll see you around, then. later"

Benjo "Cocksucker"
Do you really think the bible knows best? I accept you for your faith, please accept me for my lackthereof.

Monday, February 11, 2008


Do you know who the coolest cat in the CA hospital is? ED the counslor! He's bald and old but he listens to 'dead and the doors and I am convinced he played in a band called "Little Feet". He's chill, and shares many common philosophies with me. I feel like I "solved" more problems with his help than anybody else's.

Oh, and apparently I've got a good handshake, too.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

This is it

I cut my own hair. I did a fuckin good job no matter what anybody says. Five inches is not enough for locks of love, and its not going to clog the goddamn drain if its not in the drain.
I sold my soul to Satan fer skatin....
it was worth it

Thursday, February 7, 2008


Andrew was sent home from school for telling the teacher to "fuck yourself with the book of ethics!" Upon returning home he opened the door to find nobody there. He called out to his parents but heard no reply.

He heard banging and moaning coming from upstairs and went up and opened his parent’s bedroom door. Andrew was shocked to see his dad giving it to his mom - her knees were by her ears, she was taking it like a porn starlet - screaming all manner of obsenities.

The folks noticed him and froze. He let out a gasp and ran off. Stunned, his parents realized that this could be traumatic for their son and decided the dad should explain sex is something parents do when in love.

The father looked all over the house and couldn’t find Andrew anywhere - then he heard banging and moaning coming from Grandma’s room. He opened the door only to find little Andy railing Grandma – just banging her senseless, pumping away with her legs in the air. The dad yelled, “What the f*ck are you doing?” to which he replied “It’s not so much fun when it’s your mom huh!?!?”

Saturday, February 2, 2008


SO my parents know I smoke, I'm only failing TWO classes, and I've got a TERRIBLE headcold.

Real Interesting.

Friday, January 25, 2008

who else thinks that wintertime is too long?

School Blows. This statement is unchallenged and rightfully so, because its the earnest truth. If someone could clarify for my parents that you do not NEED a college education to survive in the world that would be awesome. Plus I think my parents expect me to suck at everything. My mom thinks that I could make more money being a skate photog than an actual skater...

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Guitar Hero....

is much less gay when you can switch it up because play left handed.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

night terrors revisited

Now I'm having the most fucked up of them all. I keep waking up a few minutes before my alarm goes off. I'm drenched in sweat, and i have the strangest sensation that someone else is in my bed with me....

Wednesday, January 16, 2008


Here is the second, less funny commercial.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Jedi Ginsu Knife

The population of this country is 300 million.

160 million are retired.

That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school.

Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.

Leaving 15 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces.

Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city Governments.

And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are,

Sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading this.

(even though this doesn't consider the fact that half of highschool kids work, its still pretty alarming to think that over HALF of the country is retired.... Perhaps we should start killing people when they turn 60)

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Survey says

Everybody knows who I am, whether that be from sheer awesomeness or infamy (like there's a difference) I get waved at, honked at, and holla'd at by atleast ten people a day. Half of them I barely know, but they know me. I suppose this is what its like to have a reputation. Perhaps I've even got some Hero Points?

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Raymond K Hessel

Apparently I would make a good writer. That is, according to my "FANS" Either way, its time to put YOUR money where MY skill is. Lets hope you made a wise investment.

The Story of Robert and Colleen

Robert didn't go out looking for love that night. He just wanted to get off. It had been months since he got any. His wife was always busy doing wifey things like cooking and cleaning and taking their two kids to ballet or soccer or whatever the fuck their kids did. Robert didn't much care, his manly instincts were to provide for his family. He wouldn't have known if his son Tommy was a heroine addict, as father son bonding wasn't his forte. But whatever his son was into, Robert was supporting his habits.

As it were, Robert still hadn't screwed in a long long time. So he drove down into the heart of the city to find himself a nice fuck. He got to where all the nicer girls worked, and although he admired them, the fifty bills in his pocket wouldn't get any of them to take their dresses off and even look sexy. So he kept on driving his Seville down to the grungier parts of town.

Thats when he saw her. She was leaning against the wall half-dead like she had just finished a marathon. Her curly brown hair was slightly mangled, and her blue gown was tattered and starting to tear a gash just big enough to get a peek at her snatch. She was smoking a cigarette and through the billows of smoke Robert could see what looked like a black eye.

Her raunchy appearance isn't what caught his attention, though. What really got him was how much she reminded him of his wife, Carrie. The resemblence was almost striking. Robert didn't give it a second thought and wistled to her. Her stilettos gave her an interesting gait. It almost reminded him of the first date he had taken Carrie out on. Her swagger was so attractive he couldn't help but fall for her. Except this time it was with a hooker rather than his 16 year old wife.

She made it up to the car and Robert rolled down the window.
"Hey big guy. What are you looking for?" she said in a half hoarse voice
"The whole deal" Robert said trying to act suave "How much?"
"fifty bones" she rasped
"Hop in"

Rob decided that he would drive her to a secluded little spot under the bridge. It was where he and Carrie had fist made love so many years ago. It wasn't too far out of the way and it only seemed right because she reminded him of Carrie so much. Along the way he tried to make some small talk.
"So whats your name?"
"How long have you been in this profession?"
"About ten or eleven years"
"How'd you get into it?"
Robert stopped caring about what she was saying. The third question in he noticed her nipple was hanging out of the dress that was two sizes too small. She was telling this terrific story and all he picked out of it was "woke up after the overdose" and "kicked my ass" He was too busy staring at her tits.

Finally they arrived at the location. All Robert said was "This is it." as he got out of the car. She got out, probably expecting to see some ratty old matress that was covered with the blood of homeless man who had just been shanked. They stared into eachothers eyes. Perhaps they were going to kiss, but the loud crack of thunder interrupted their moment. Then he realized why they were there, and he lifted Colleen's little gown and plunked her on the hood of his Cadillac. He whipped his cock out and went to town. The rain had started to drizzle down lightly, but it didn't matter, they were safe and dry underneath the bridge. Robert proceeded to keep screwing the hell out of Colleen, when a strange odor caught his nostrils. He realized that he should've put a helmet on his soldier, considering he was going into an unknown battlefield. However, the desire to get his rocks off and drop a load in this rotten cunt was too overpowering. Another clap of thunder.
Then it happened.

Robert came, and as he let out a sigh he looked at Colleen. She looked back it him. They looked at eachother, and stared back into one anothers eyes. It was such a profound connection, and seemed to last an eternity. An eternity too long for Robert, he looked at the bruise around Colleen's eye, and let his fist fly towards her other eye to even them out.

Just as he had always done to his wife when she tried to get too close, Robert beat the hell out of Colleen. She reminded him of Carrie so much, especially the way she begged to him for mercy with blood articulating the spaces inbetween her teeth. This was different, though. Robert wasn't sated with simply beating her until she knew that he didn't want to be intimate. Perhaps it was his manly instincts, and perhaps it was that he had most likely contracted eight different STDS, or maybe it was that the idea of paying fifty dollars for sex was completely outrageous to the bastard cheapskate. No matter what it was, he flipped, and started strangling her on the hood of his car, and the rain tittered down softly around them.

Surreal. It was impossible to believe that he had just fucked some whore, then strangled her. He went ahead and had another go, while her body was still warm and whatnot. Then he rolled her corpse off his hood, and drove back home.

When he got back he sat down to the late dinner his wife had made for him.
"How was work?" she asked him so sweetly
"Fine" he grumbled same as he always did
"So what did they need to to stay late for?"
She went back out into the livingroom to watch spongebob with her kids. Robert continued to eat his meal in silence, festering in his own anger. Suddenly the phone rang. Carrie answered it, as always, just like Robert taught her a good little housewife should. She gasped, and asked seceral questions and then began crying as far as robert could tell. He didn't give two shits about it anyway. Then he could see that she was seriously upset, so he asked her "What's wrong?"
"My sister, the police found her dead"
"...You never said you had a sister!"
"She was a streetwalker, I was never proud of her for doing what she did"
".... where did they find her?"
"Under a bridge, the same one where we first had sex"

Robert just stared back at her blankly...