Monday, December 31, 2007

Happy New Year

I found out that its my PARENTS that make me less excited about things!! And to all a goodnight!

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Reality Televison

After months of research and intense expirimental studies, we have reached a final conclusion. Reality TV destroys cerebrial tissue and causes irreversable brain damage. Shows like Tila Tequila, The Real World, Laguna Beach, and I Love New York have incridibly high amounts of radiation emmissions from whatever television they are watched on. There is also evidence that supports the shows are causing toxic waste vapours to seep up through the ground in the homes of all those which there is prolonged watching of Reality TV. The dangers of watching Reality TV are unparalleled. Are you unconvinced? Look at the people who watch VH1 on a regular basis. You'll notice some alarming trends. Not only do these people care about themselves too much, they only care about the trivial things of others. You may see how they also seem to obey and follow whatever the majour celebrities are doing. My colleagues and I are convinced that Reality TV also has some capacity of mind control, though more evidence is needed to verify.

This is Research Lab Couder. Doctor Ben Elliott, signing out.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

I apologize...

for being an asshole to you, it is simply my way of saying that I'm afraid to get too close to you....

The Holidays...

are a time where my drunkles come over and hang out with my dad, leaving me and their booze to have a good time. I'm rather fond of Jack and Coke now. :D

Monday, December 24, 2007

Up on the rooftop, Click, Click, Cick...

Santa Clause does not exist!

HO! HO! HO! you shoulda known!

Friday, December 21, 2007

crailslide this...

So it is required that all students make an informative pamphlet on the reproductive system... bleh. I'm doing the female one just so I don't hafta draw a picture of a dick. But really, why the hell do we need to do this?? Most everyone is repulsed by it, anyways. Personally, it should be removed from the curriculum. But thats just me.

And they found them,
Two eleven year olds.
In the dumpster,
Humping, Humping, Humping...

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

the termihe, et mah hows up!

My dad called me a fuckup, because i'm failing four classes. Its not like I try to fail, but it seems to happen. I'm not giving it my all, but I'm trying some atleast. I just have a hard time listening to my parents tell me how to live when they aren't doing such a hot job themselves.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Is it worth it?

So my parents drug me to the fucking elmira mall today, and told me that I could do my homework (which I was actually in the mood to do) later. They said that I didn't have any christmas spirit and they wanted me to be cheery. They also want me back on my medication because I'm so apathetic. Its really their fault more than anything, and there's no way in hell I'm taking that shit again. So is it worth it to live a hindered life for the sake of others?

Friday, December 14, 2007

Cold-Hearted Bastard

Lite Bright "you're so... cold!"

Ken Welsh "thats cold, Ben"

Brooke Harper "you have a cold heart!"

Heather "whats wrong with you!? you're so cold!!"

Cashier Lady "well aren't you cold!"

Everybody knows its true. By age 16 it should be obvious. My evil genes are up and active. They all see it, can you?

Monday, December 10, 2007

The Story of Impacted Molars

So Dr Black says that there are actually FIVE teeth in my mouth that are impacted and need removed. It'll be 330 bucks apeice, plus the 50 that laughing gas costs. and our insurance doesn't cover impacted anything. I seriously wonder why my parents put up with this shit, half of their >$20K income is spent on us kids. But above all, there will be NO little Benjos! I seriously couldn't afford the costs of them having such fucked up teeth.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

bah humbug

I hate having to go get a tree and get shanked my numerous little spines.
I hate having to decorate for my parents when I don't want to even have decorations.
I hate singing snowmen that bounce around and make jolly at undesignated intervals.
I hate having to put up with everyones menial bullshit during the "holidays".
I hate how people get extremely upbeat and cheery ONLY during the "holidays".
I hate how people find it excusable to be a nice person only during the "holidays".
I hate jazzy christmas music, played at all times of the day by my mother.
I hate when I get bitched at for turning of said music when my parents go toke.
I hate political correctness.
I hate manger scenes.
I hate carollers.
I hate santas.

Thankfully, it only happens once a year.

Saturday, December 8, 2007



"no, but the ground is"

"THIS is a floor! there is a ROOF over your head!!"

"THIS is a gazebo, and moreover this is PUBLIC property."


"what little kids? are you high??"


"eh, i'm fisnished smoking anyway"

Thursday, December 6, 2007


KIDDO i have yet to draw you a picture of a unicorn!

KT we have to play chess sometime!

Christa this is for you

anybody i need to know two things, what is the word for flying grossness?
and do you keep your title (Attilla the Hun, Benjo the Adorable, ect) after you've been married?

Sunday, December 2, 2007

*sigh* -__-

today i find out that my best friend is getting married. i wasn't even told of this event in person. is anybody as averse to this as i am??