Wednesday, July 25, 2007

i was here.. to like...... help.... with school.. n stuff

Hi, I'm Chris Hanson from Dateline NBC. How about you take a seat over there.....
at this point, the only thing the men see is their life going down the drain. I understand the purpose of the show is to "CATCH A PREDETOR!!" but the decoies are pretty inticing, and from what I can tell, the seem to act like they WANT sex. It seems like some sort of entrapment, if you ask me. But more importantly, are the people who watch the damn thing! Only old people who think the world is going to hell and perverts watch that show. Its like a little suppressant for them "Golly-gee! I sure am glad i didn't go over to Sally's house while her parents were out!" THEN, they talk about what the guys say to the girl, which satisfies the fuckers sick desires and fantasies. The shit they try and pull off is pretty jacked, too. "um.... we were just gonna talk.... really" Yeah, man, sure. Try saying something like "no no, I just came to read the labels" next time you get caught trying to steal groceries.....

narsty bastard

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

"We don't need two people doing the same job..."

They call it downsizing, I call it getting FIRED!! WOOOOOOO!!!! Never again will I be required to wake up before noon. No longer shall the rancid stench of overly pungent food-items make me gag in disgust. All the bitching, whining, scolding, and moaning are a thing of the past. Today, I raise my hands in glorious jubilee, and sing loudly to the world "Free at last, Free at last, Thank God Almight, I am free at last!" It is OK that you don't feel the same way about me leaving. Yes, my presence does make the workplace so much more light-hearted and relaxed, but you fired me. You caved. You gave in first, and while I claimed victory and the proof that I am the more powerful. Thank you for letting me carry out a job at the second street roost. It wasn't too dreadful an experience. Maybe someday we'll meet again in Hell. Until then.....

Oh, and fifty is a pretty big number. What, did one of you come back 49 times in a row?

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

I'm Lost...

OK, can somebody tell me people name their myspace after their current love-affair? I mean, "she takes my breath away" and the like are BARELY acceptable. But "mary loves jorge" or "(insert your name here) loves (insert other persons name here)" if you will. Not just because its sappy and pathetic, but because NO ONE GIVES A FUCK!!! Teenage hormones and "true love" are no excuse for such ridiculous things. Look back on that name three years from now. Do you still think thats a good name? Do you still love (insert other person's name here)? Are you going to marry them, like you wanted to back then? My guess is no, three times over. Or even worse, those skanks who change just the last part every every three days when they get a new "boyfriend". Thats called SEX, aight? Jesus whore. Oh, and if someone can help me with all this 14 year olds dating 18 year olds , which i'm seeing quite alot (ie my sister) that would be super terrific, thanks blogger people :P

In other news, the counter hit dub-digits. That means its time for a party.

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Behold, my terrible artistic prowess.

Sometimes I wear my headphones so people will think I am listening to music and can't hear them. That way they won't try and talk to me.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

No Title

So I bought a new board with the $77 dollar paycheck i got. After it was all set up I realized how much my old one sucked. It was water-logged and the bearings were rusty and the wheels had a strange yellowish colour. The wheels were also flatspotted, so it was like riding on square wheels. But i got some pig wheels now, and they're so smooth i could powerslide a good six or seven feet easy. But then it was time for a test-run. Things were going real nice until I tried a nollieflip and smashed my elbow into the ground. I didn't think it was a big deal until i saw that there was two buckshot smashed into it. I got the one out, but the other one is still stuck in there. Maybe if I'm lucky it won't poison me and it'll be like shrapnel. There's always a good war-story behind a shrapnel scar. In other news it is the fourth of july and the only wound i sustained was not firework related (HELL YES) But I think one of the neighbor kids blew his hand up. Go figure.

Monday, July 2, 2007

if you shouldn't roll doughnuts down a hill then why are they round?

My mommy said that i HAVE to go to college, and if i don't she will SHUN me for life and not send birthday money to the grandkids she is never going to have. She said i could major in "ART" or "PHILOSOPHY" but i said that i will major in "GETTING A COOL JOB" because i want to have a cool job and if i am going to spend $80,000 on college i better damn well get a cool job. Come to think of it, i better get a fucking awesome job for that kind of dough! There are other things that i want to major in, but they do not have classes for Hoboken, Mooch, Ladies man, or Criminal. I also said that i could get a job throwing things, which i am pretty good at. And if i threw deadly things, people would just give me money. The same way muggers and thiefs get paid. Also, if i had a criminalistic job i could get paid in weed < that is probably one of the best ways to get your paycheck; But if she doesn't like that i'm not going to college then i'll lob a toaster oven at her.